When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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