ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
