I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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