I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
