he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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