do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
