3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
