Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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