I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
