Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so let's talk penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
