he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
