you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
