LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
