omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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