I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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