dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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