Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize