You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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