my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
