We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
