just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
birth control should be required to get into college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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