Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
