When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize