shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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