I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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