No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
