Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
