Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
