Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
