Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
