I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
