I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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