I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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