she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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