no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
