And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
