We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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