remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Shame - the story of my life.
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