I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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