I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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