Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
