I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
