kristin has been a bad kristin
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
