I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
