the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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