I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize