Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
