Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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