'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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