after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
