I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
