ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we should paint friendship bongs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
