There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
