I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
