He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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