VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think people are normalizing furries
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
