do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
