oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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